It's 12.30am. I'm up because I'm not asleep. It's only been a few hours since my last entry.
I'm chatting with Ridha and Fifiz right now. Sometimes it feels good just to have those girly conversations where you just diss guys off because they're mean, stupid and they smell, haha. It's conversation like these, friends like them, that makes staying up and panda eyes all worthwhile.
Maybe it's the late hours, maybe it's the love songs, but I'm feeling a little emotional right now. Helwa, who has a new blog, asked me to read her new entry. Let's say it's a little tribute to the people around her, and it includes me. I appreciate it completely, being included, being somewhat important. At least I know there's someone out there who's stuck out with me all these years, appreciate the friendship, and I appreciate hers as well. I'm always here for you too, Helwa. And if you happen to go, I promise I will cry for 30.5 days, because 305 days is just too long and you're worth more than 3.05 days of tears.
Christmas is on it's way, followed by the new year. I have no plans. I've made resolutions before, countless. I'll make new ones again for 2007, and repeat the old ones as well. And then I'll throw away the list and forget that I ever made any promises to myself to change. I'm happy the way I am. I'm happy with the fact that I'm depressed and unhappy. I'm happy with me. If only I can convince them that.
My Christmas Non-material Wishlist
1. Him to be with me.
2. Emma to come to Brunei and see all her Bruneian relatives.
3. Dad not to have any car accidents or any trips while walking, hehe.
4. Noone to ignore me for one week.
5. Joyce to stop annoying me for one week (and if you feel sympathy for me, Santa, make it two weeks)
6. The will to do my History homework.
7. Take That to not break up again. On that note, Backstreet Boys to NEVER break up.
8. People to be considerate and not waste water and electricity.
9. To get license in June asap so that Mom and Dad don't have to drive me around, then hide it from sisters so they can drive me around. Since that's in June, I'd like to learn how to drive a manual for Christmas.
10. Farmers to plant vegetables that don't taste so awful more often.
My Christmas Material Wishlist
1. A pink laptop
2. A new pair of boots
3. White socks, because I need them for school and I keep overstretching them when I wear them.
4. A new phone pouch
5. Anything Superman
6. A stuffed iguana, which I couldn't find even in the Singapore Zoo giftshop.
7. A mixed CD
8. Anything Jay Chou
9. Someone to watch horror flicks with. The horror DVDs in front of my TV are just collecting dust.
10. Messages to show that they care.
Dear Santa,
I know that it's impossible to give me everything I want for Christmas, I know I'm a little selfish. Ohk, VERY selfish. But to show that I'm really not like that, I hope you'll take care of those who need you more than I do. Those people who've been staying in Ripas for a long time and don't have a choice but to stay longer. Those who are in rehab. Those who are mourning over a loss of someone special. Those who are homeless. Those who are running away from their home. Those who don't believe in Superman. Those babies that their mommys didn't want. Those who haven't eaten for more than two days. I hope you take care of them first. Oh, lets not forget the MD-ians who calls me a bitch and an attention seeker. I know you're a busy man so if you don't have a choice, you can leave out the MD-ians.
Thank you very much, Santa. I've been a good girl and I'll continue to be a good girl despite the world being very cruel to me.
Love,
xoxo
Jojo
